you might remember my post from last year's hike with Maru, where I talked about the unrealistic impressions social media gives us about people, causing jealousy and assumptions that might be completely wrong. wishing for another person's life instead of living our own lives fully. if not, you might want to read it, or you might want to be reminded of it. I know I still need to.
you also might know that my dearest person lives on the other side of the world. and that we only see each other for a few weeks at a time, inbetween endless months of skype calls and annoying time difference and slow internet and frustration and letters and anticipation. I'm not here to complain, I wouldn't change it for the world. when we do see each other, it sounds like the most perfect thing everyone dreams of. and man, is it amazing! it's actually way more than I would ever dare to dream of or imagined. I still have to pinch myself to believe it. but you know, it's still just an imperfect life. we're still just imperfect people. it's still messy.
this time I flew to California only to jump on another plane the next morning and go to Maui, Hawaii for a few days to meet Josh's grandparents, then we flew back and drove up to Nevada to a beautiful winter wonderland called Lake Tahoe for Thanksgiving, and then I spent a week in my beloved second home, San Luis Obispo, biked around, enjoying the warmth and the sunshine. I didn't post about it and spent those three weeks simply living it.
the biggest reason to not limit my experiences into short instagram posts was to share about it honestly and fully. if you follow me on instagram you might notice that I choose to post about my bad days too, about the struggle, and about the hope in the midst of it. I'm not here to say, as some people do, that the good moments we share about are a lie though. they are just as real as the bad ones. life is a beautiful messy reality with perfect moments and some pretty awful ones. so is a trip like this. we don't usually take pictures of the awful ones though. we don't really want to share them. we are scared of the reaction. it's kind of funny because I am more scared of the reaction when it comes to my perfect moments, because I hate to cause jealousy and wrong assumptions.
so when you look at my posts and pictures, know that there is more to them. yes, the trip consisted of the most magical moments, runnning into the ocean in the moonlight on the shores of Hawaii, dancing in every store with music, sipping tea by the fire as it snowed outside, walks by the lake as the sun set over the mountains, walks by the ocean, laughing till I cried tears of joy, long hugs, playing music.... etc... but there were also moments of me feeling overwhelmed by all the experiences. not pictured are the endless plane rides (because when the cheapest plane ticket is from Copenhagen, then I take a bus to Copenhagen and spend the night there), the jetlag, the morning I cried in the car because it was simply too much happening in my world and I couldn't process it all. the times I got frustrated, way too easily. culture shocks and differences that still surprise me. the night I felt so alone and couldn't sleep and didn't understand why. the week when Josh had to be at school every day all day long and I spend the days just waiting for him.
in a certain way this trip was harder for me than the ones before. but I'd rather have a conversation about that with you over a cup of tea in person. this is probably already too long for people to read with our busy lives. I just wanted to encourage you to not make assumptions, but ask. to have real conversations. to not get jealous but remember that every person struggles at some points inbetween the moments they choose to post. that no person or story is perfect. don't think that just because you are not like this person, or don't have the same adventures, or perfect relationship, or cool things to post about, that your life is less. that it doesn't matter unless you are like this or that. you are worth of so much more. your life is of a precious value just because you are alive. I know I need that reminder too. perhaps I'm preaching it more to myself than you. all I know is I'll keep trying my best at sharing about my messy life with honesty.
separate posts from the beautiful places and adventures coming :)
